21st Century Propaganda - Astroturf email

Below is an example of the modern usage of appeals to ignorance and partial truths sent to in-boxes in order to influence and obfuscate issues and reality in the political mind; Astroturfing.

My response to this low-information, inaccurate, and misleading screed, follows.

Dear Fellow Business Owners

As a business owner who employs 30 people, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama will be our next president, and that my taxes and fees will go up in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Customer will have to see an increase in my fees to them of about 8-10%. I will also have to lay off six of my employees. This really bothered me as I believe we are family here and didn't know how to choose who will have to go. So, this is what I did.

I strolled thru the parking lot and found eight Obama bumper stickers on my employees cars. I have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off.

I can't think of another fair way to approach this problem. If you have a better idea, let me know.

I am sending this letter to all business owners that I know.

Sincerely
Ward
JOOA Corp.

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My Response to "Ward."


Dear Ward,

Since you asked for a better idea, I have several for you.

1. Fire your accountant. If the one you have now doesn't know the difference between gross and net you have already been paying too much in taxes. If the one you have now hasn't been taking all the tax breaks and deductions you receive by paying those "increased" fees and taxes, they should not be allowed to do taxes.

2. When you find a new accountant who has some tax knowledge, have them review your prior years taxes as it appears you may have several refunds waiting for you. Make sure they check all the states in which you've paid taxes but did not earn income. That's *earned* income, Ward. Your new knowledgeable accountant should know the difference.

3. Make sure your new accountant is full time and on premises during business hours at is appears you have zero knowledge of business finances and bookkeeping. That reminds me, hire a good bookkeeper while you're at it to help your new accountant track your income, expenses, A/R, and A/P. Oh, A/R stands for accounts receivable and A/P stands for accounts payable. It's pretty obvious you don't know those terms.

4. Hire a lawyer. It appears you may be in violation of federal labor laws if you think you can fire people based on their political party membership or ideals. The lawsuits will cost you quite a bit more than your "increased" fees and taxes, but hey, at least you won't be contributing to the "socialist" government you seem to fear.

5. The Small Business Administration (SBA) offers classes in how to run a business which include finances, labor law, tax law and the like. You are several years behind the curve; sign up now!

6. Remember to take responsibility for the fact that you lose business when you are ignorant enough to wave your political idiocy in front of your customers. Your customers want a good product followed by good customer service. It sounds like you may need to work on that if you're as "knowledgeable" about your business as you are about taxes and business finances.

7. Please, tell me what product you sell and what business you do. I couldn't find "JOOA Corp" in a quick google search. I'd like to avoid such a poorly run business headed by such an ignorant business owner. If your products are of the same quality as your business acumen, I don't care to waste my money.

8. Hire someone to market your business. As noted above, I couldn't find "JOOA Corp" in a quick google search. This is the 21st Century and successful businesses have an internet presence and spend some time promoting their business online. You need someone who knows about internet marketing and search engines.

All in all Ward, I'd say you're a piss poor business man who doesn't know one thing about running a successful business. Do you even have a business, Ward? Or are you like "Joe the Plumber" sitting at home dreaming of the day you'll suddenly wake up with an entrepreneurial spirit and loads of cash to start up a business you don't know how to run?

Good luck with that dream. Those of us in the real world know it takes work and responsibility and knowledge to run a business. It also requires creative thought and the ability to think independently, both of which, based on your willingness to blindly spew ignorance, you are sadly lacking.

Oh, one more thing. Based on your obvious ignorance, hire a good bankruptcy lawyer.

Signed,

Remember History